You approach the van. The passenger door opens and you hop inside. You've been warned about this sort of thing, but you always want to give people the benefit of the doubt. In this case, however, that is a mistake. You've hardly had a chance to sit down before you feel a needle slip into your neck. Blackness washes over you.
You wake up with a strange sensation in your extremities. In fact, your body is tingling. You look around and see that you are in a lab of some kind. It takes you a moment before you come to the terrible realization that you are in a jar. Your head has somehow been removed from your body and placed in a jar.
You spend the next seven hundred years looking out from the jar. You occupy yourself by playing games of War in your head against imaginary opponents. You particularly enjoy playing against Nick Nolte and Marie Curie, although Big Bird has given you a run for your money more than once.
Eventually someone accidentally knocks you over and you die when the bottle shatters.
*** You Have Died ***