That eunuchs exist in the world is evident, but their origin has always been shrouded in mystery. Rational explanations of their creation, such as Perkin's "Theory of the Prime Eunuch", have given way to more esoteric views, such as Crawford's "Eternal Eunuch Principle". Despite the great number of inquiries made into this subject, the truth has remained hidden for many centuries. Now, however, new evidence has lent serious weight to the argument for the existence of the proto-eunuch. If this evidence is verified by repeatable scientific experiments, then one of the world's great mysteries will have been solved. The author of this paper is too tired to continue, but suggests that the reader use the future perfect tense whenever possible. In the end, it will have benefited you greatly.